I'm bringing poparts in case anyone gets hungry. The trek to frat row is strenuous.
Puked on a Tom Jones impersonator on the strip
I gave her a mint afterward. It felt like giving turndown service at Hotel BJ.
The wedding was scheduled to start 5 min. ago. 20 people here so far, groomsmen in tees and jeans, catering by Costo. NO ONE OUR AGE IS READY FOR MARRIAGE!
i'm sick of coming in second next to bourbon.
Please just tell me how ugly she was so I can bask in the diminishingly small reassurance that might give me
I just got woken up by some Christians who wanted to talk about the bible. ways to make a hangover even worse for a thousand trebek
I ripped my favorite jeans crossing that fence
That sucks
It's an upgrade! I didn;t even have to unzip my pants to pee!
I'm pretty sure my intestines are bleeding but I'm still going to Orlando to catch that orgasm.
Happy cinco de mayo!! Puke filled sombrero in the lawn needs to be picked up and whos never punched my fence boards in half needs to replace those by the way the owner of those panties (see attached photo) anytime you wanna cum over;-) hiii!
Just took a shower for the sole purpose of getting off without using my hands... I've reached a new level of summer-lazy.
I'm wearing the monkey suit out tonight. I hope you're ok with it leaving the bedroom
Go christen that room with your naked body.
Just sent my mother the text "we need to get our vaginas looked at this thursday". Hows your day going?
And he's in a frat. Everyone in a frat is gay. It's science.
Randomize