Well my night just got interesting. I just home from the police station. Hope you had a fun night out!
guys i just found a dildo in the laundry room and its purple
whats a dildo? isnt that like a fancy piece of bread?
She always manages to outslut me. I can't keep up
Basically I learned last night that if you're too polite people will think it's okay to play with your nipples when really its not even a little okay
Dude this deaf chick is totally hot, I just bought an apartment on boner ave
Youre attempt to ruin my night by putting Date Rape by Sublime on my sex playlist failed. She was into it.
Bonding with my year old cousin over the fact that we both shit ourselves. Babysitting like a bosss
It's stupid hot. I just want to be laying in a bathtub full of margaritas
Just had a threesome. Girlfriend wasn't a part of it. Broke up with her by sending her a picture of it. Hell is going to be awesome
He called me piss drunk at 7:30pm while cooking bacon and said he was going to bed. I don't think he's taking it well.
all a girl really needs is a few good pair of leggings and a drug dealer that delivers.
It's like Jesus got stoned and this would be the sandwiches he'd make
She'll feel so accomplished if she finally gets to bang me.
Too stoned. Randomly can't get the image of Emilio estevez's smiling face out of my head. What is life.
He fucked me so well and hard that the couch slid into the Christmas tree. I had to pull branches out of my hair.
Randomize
