i watch way too much csi for them to even pretend to be my friend.
Yeah, but thats the third time she's peed on me.
I just walked in on my roommate beating off with no pants on, an unbuttoned hawaiian shirt and a cowboy hat, and he weights 300 pounds
Come 10 years my vagina won't look like this. I must cherish it
She literally thanked me for asking before I put in her ass
someone wrote on his wall: "congrats on your engagement"
I think you may want to look into that...
Could be my worst decision since the whole 'third degree burn' fiasco.
Its like a zucchini between his legs. An orgasmic zucchini.
i'm having the hardest time convincing my roommates to go dumpster diving for pizza with me. i really miss you..
Someone asked me why we were having sex on the porch last night. All I remember is him saying he wanted the recruits to see. This has got to stop.
I think we need a list of things that are automatic NO's for dating a guy. Married, definitely a no now
The hot streak continues..if life was NBA jams i would be "on fire" right now
Holy shit I'm 26! That took an embarrassingly long time to figure it out, I need to keep buyin weed from this kid
Tell him to put up or shut up. Can't be dangling dick in front of ho's without delivering.
It's just disrespectful
Just witnessed a man yell "gonna catch a slut!" at himself in the mirror while doing bicep curls at the gym.
I was...perplexed.
Randomize
