What do you do when the person in the stall next to you says they're jealous?
nah, shes just mad because we went through all her fb pics and tagged her crotch as all the guys shes fucked
So I called her out for all the gossip she does and she's like "you do the same, bitch"
So I was like "Im classy like the Countess, youre just a bitch like Kim."
Kudos on the Interstate Housewife metaphor.
everyone knows he gets back in a week and after that i'm not sleeping around anymore. it's like i have a expiration date.
Question: does the slut gene come from the mother or the father? im trying to figure out who to blame.
i'm sorry for cheering you on when you were making out with him. i was just celebrating the fact he was decent looking for once
Didn't get laid. But got a free pie from a waitress. A whole pie.
This dude was wearing a "Plan B- One Step" backpack. I wonder how many more I have to buy until I get mine??
I have pictures of you taking tequila shots off the front of the police car when the cop wasn't looking.
I honestly think she should have her own reality show called "Lowering the Bar" and it consists of a camera crew following her from Bar to bar hooking up with unsuspecting drunk attractive men.
Sorry I couldn't reference you in my facebook quote. I will redirect any likes and comments straight to my blowjob efforts this week.
I'll have to start mass sending dong pics to get the recognition I deserve
Actually just remembered that solo cup full of scotch that random guy gave me for not farting on him. That's probably why
Dude. That's like masturbating until the point that you're going to climax, then stopping, waiting for a few seconds and then starting all over. While that does lead to an altogether more powerful orgasm, it's still annoying as hell until you get there.
I was not expecting that analogy.
No one ever expects that analogy.
I may have passed out and puked all over the host's favorite couch, but three hours and a rip later, I was eating tiramisu in the bathtub with the birthday boy and a hot Italian.
Randomize
