mutual masturbation is only cool if cash money records is involved.
you just love her because she lets you bang her with fruits and veggies!
It's sad that he has such a beautiful cock and doesn't know what to do with it.
is it bad that i have made the decision to never travel to vienna simply because of that transvestite that won the bachelor?
dont start drinking without me
it looked like a condom graveyard when i woke up. they were everywhere
so i may have indirectly taught my 13 year old campers how to give blowjobs.
I dont feel as bad coming home this baked because I gave my 14 year old sister a no drugs talk last night.
Crying in the liquor store is not a good look
Just saw a hooker eating a pastrami sandwich walking down beach blvd blowing kisses to traffic. My day = made
What do you want to swallow. Press 1 whiskey press 2 rum
I think I'm going to contact pbr and see if they'll sponsor our dreams
I'm sorry I didn't respond. I had a shit day. However, I just masturbated to Adele's Rolling In the Deep while crying. It was oddly therapeutic.
I admit it could have gone better but look at it this way, since I broke the urn you don't have to worry about spreading the ashes.
WELL I DIDNT KNOW IT WAS POSSIBLE TO COME SO HARD YOU HAVE AN ASTHMA ATTACK BUT HERE I AM
No offense, but I don’t think I would want to see him in anything skimpier than a hazmat suit.
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