Sry I called you an 8
why is jon gosselin on the news 24/7 for dating some new lady?? how bout I get on msnbc for not getting laid since forever ago
There's a vagina buried somewhere in there.
...you put a chicken patty in my toaster last night..
Hey, don't feel sorry for me, the two girls in front of me just ordered 18 dollars worth of taco bell. Life could be worse.
just heard a tri-delta girl talking about her drunken escapades last weekend...it's like the exact plotline to a hardcore porno.
Seriously. My exes act like they own shares of my vagina.
Well, in their defense, they have invested a lot of time and money
My drunk body wants to fuck you so bad, but my high mind is telling me it's too much work. I think I'm just gonna stay home and eat some Mac and cheese. Sorry.
So I have a scar from when the stripper tore off my underwear .... Best birthday ever
According to you, you were with your "Eskimo bro for life" last night.
He texted "fuck you" before blocking me on all social media. Come to think of it, that's also the last thing my mother said to me. Could it be that I'm the problem?
whatever. i just wanna get "forget my own name" wasted
no. you need to know your name so people know where to return you when you get lost.
so he'll eat food out of a dumpster but he won't lick your ass?
i read his ps3 instant messaging thing... he's meeting a guy to have sex. i think your boyfriend's gay
Hungover at Subway, watching a business guy try to squeeze his way past my car to get into his. Bitch shouldn'ta parked over the line.
You truly are a temple of morality.
I am the night, I am justice, I am currently watching the fat biz guy pay a frat boy to back his car up for him so he can get in.
Randomize
