Please stop sending me picture messages of your shit. Seriously. I don't care if it looks like popcorn chicken.
he drunkenly pissed himself on the deck, in the bathroom, and on my couch within the span of an hour
its like an avodart commercial...maybe he has a growing problem
We went to his house and he brought a jar of pickles to bed. I think im in love.
I need input, can I pre-game my cat scan?
Oh, and thanks to you. I'm now stuck in the living room, held hostage, listening to my roommate's "How I discovered I was bi" story. FUCK YOU.
Don't be alarmed at the girl laying on your bathroom floor.
Notice: I will be intoxicated and in your area this evening. To unsubscribe from my sexual solicitation list, reply 'fuck off'.
Just had a threesome. Girlfriend wasn't a part of it. Broke up with her by sending her a picture of it. Hell is going to be awesome
His new place is a molesden. Like a hole in the ground. It's frightening how oddly private it is.
It rubs the lotion on it's foreskin...
The extent of "getting it in" was this creepy guy sticking his finger in my bellybutton
What's protocol when the 18 year old son of an anti-gay preacher sends you a message on Grindr during church?
Did I send you a drunk selfie with a pine tree last night?
This hangover is what we deserve after that level of debauchery.
I'm sexting with a 20 year old that has a foot fetish... This is what Sailor Jerry drives me to do.
i don't know when underwear became an acceptable clothing choice for parties, but god help me i hope this isn't a passing trend.
Randomize
