whjeg hajt iyt
say what?
wanna hang out?
Ew, dude I just walked in on my boss masturbating in the supply room at the restaurant. He didn't see me so I quickly shut the door and pretended like it didn't happen. And then literally five minutes later he came up to me and cupped my face with his hands and told me what a great employee I was. I got a promotion but I'm fucking scarred for life. I can't stop cringing.
Is there a "Plan B" app for my iphone?
You know im sick of people that are still obsessed w obama. that was sooooo last year
I knew his night was already over when he started marking lines on the bottle and setting goals
I don't care what he thinks. My vagina has an open door policy.
Okay, lets just agree to keep all cutlery related activities to a minimum.
Is "you left your socks here, please come get them" a good way of saying "come fuck me?"
I gather from Facebook you got drunk last night and took semi naked pictures of yourself?
New low. I just threw up in the shower at 4pm. Nothing like leaving behind my 20s with class.
All right, sex is off the menu for you. Now you just get friendship. So I can spend marginally less time being annoyed by you.
WHY THE FUCK DID I HAVE TO FALL IN LOVE WITH A CONVICT
You were so drunk you told some dude your life story in one short sentence... and kissed his fiancé. You're invited to the wedding.
Tomorrow has nothing to do with the threesome
I am the one with the vagina. I get to call it.
Oh god I just had an orgasim riding my bike. I need to get laid pronto.
Randomize
