..well, okay, so long as I don't have to wear an apron or vaccum in high heels.
nope just do me i'm drunk and easy to plz
This is your Morning Wood Report: I have it.
the bulge in his pants is not junk. its hair. trust.
You asked me to be the big spoon, when you passed out on the stairs
No one understands that once a girl pours a handle of smirnoff all over herself, clearly she is wasted
at one point he couldn't find his underwear so he put on my catsuit to go to the bathroom
he pulled a $400 bottle of champagne out of the back part of his toiled and I was ready to blow him then and there
May the one with the liver that just won't quit win
If they weren't representing Obama and the White House, they definitely would've punched me in the face.
The second time he came it projectile shot in my ear
We were in a spooning position and it shot all the way up. He was like sorry. Physics.
Back. Waiting on Thong the shuttle bus driver. THONG
YOUR TITS WERE ON THE TABLE.
I can see their wedding vows now: 'Til basicness do us part
I used to sleep with a guy on the USA rugby team... He stole my credit card and my Hitman DVD. I'm more upset about the Hitman DVD..
if it makes you feel any better you looked really comfortable while you were sleepin in the closet, atleast according to the pictures i woke up with on my phone
Randomize
