Just gave my little brother the collection of clothes that boys have left in my room since I've been in college for his birthday.
i just saw a man pushing two thirtys of beers in a stroller while his little kid ran to keep up. father of the year
now were playing what girl doesnt belong in the picture of girls in bikinis.
She was our DD the least I could do is have sex with her. Even when drunk I'm still chivalrous.
No it's ok. I made friends with the guy that always wears helmets to the bar. His name is helmet Harry
Doing lines of coke through pieces of licorice. Because I can
Ew. He is mine. We all know that if he has a mid-life crisis and decides to sleep with a student, I AM THAT STUDENT. She's not friends with him on FB. Reassuring.
Ran into a tinder match at the bar last night. We spotted each other and started making out without speaking any words to each other. Fuck yea technology!
Who the fuck gets injured on a merry-go-round? HOW IS IT POSSIBLE??
Helped a guy at work today that did nothing but stare at my chest....safe to say the Girls were looking G.O.O.D. today.
I just realized it's officially fall..I had sex while watching Halloween
Sex and compliments. The way to my heart
The date did not go well. Turns out I once set her brother on fire.
We told the cop that we were playing soccer, in flip flops, and 2:30 in the morning. It was raining and i had board shorts on. He bought it, lets go get drunk
Took it for the first time last night, and i saw a giant pillsbury boy coming after me with a wrench in his hand.
Randomize
