he called AT&T to make sure that he had insurance before he threw his cell phone into the fountain.
i just feel like the statute of limitations for admitting i plowed through her car last night was up a couple hours ago
You don't have anything to lose--we've established that he's not going to murder you and he smells good.
on a brighter note, the cop thought i could kick adams ass if it came down to that and said he had $20 on me if it ever happens
Don't worry, the house smells like waffles more than sex
I'm actually drinking gin and juice out of a floridas natural carton...so if that has any indication of how I'm doing
Can you bring me the toilet please
he's really high and upset. he just found out alice from the brady bunch died
I'm super disappointed in my clit.
He got me to hold his phone, wallet, keys and pants while he hooked up with another girl.
It was a "have 911 on speed dial" kinda night
After 8 hours of circus trick sex, his parents are both hugging me and kissing me on the cheek asking when I'm coming back over. Score?
One can only be this extremely wet once a year and I feel like I'm bitch slapping god by not using this gift he has bestowed on me.
my mom is feeding me weed brownies...god help us
I'm hearing voices and sirens. I'm scared. I heard a manatee out there.
Randomize
