We went to the police station completely hammered looking for you. Don't tell me I'm not a good friend.
until you tell me otherwise ill assume we're playing "cavity search" the homeland security game to spice up our sex life
If people don't want my drunken phone call then TAKE YOUR FUCKING NUMER OFF OF FACEBOOK, like it's just that easy...
She saves ONE person's life while blacked out and now she's positive anything can be done "while fucking hammered"
If we could give a gymnastic score to drunken nights, I would be a part of the Fab Five.
I will not get drunk on our first date. I will not get drunk on our first date. I will not get drunk on our first date.
You yelled "NICE PAJAMAS" at a construction worker wearing a reflective jumpsuit while we rode past on a bike taxi
My ex came over to hook up...then I went on a date 2 hours later and got a bj. Single: Finally doing it right.
I was riding him and in the middle he literally said "fuck yeah, Amy Winehouse"
These flip flops mean I'm casual, but I'm here to fuck.
sweet Jesus, who thought 13 martinis was a good idea? 11 was probably sufficient.
He told me that he wants to fuck me only wearing a princess tiara...How could I possibly say no to that?
Then you fell out of your chair, looked right at me and said, "You are sooo drunk."
Ya can’t just go throwing accusations around about someone pooping their pants without some hard evidence
Maybe the "i killed someone" and "tequila makes my clothes come off" comments freaked him out.
Randomize
