Yeudjkisdjxbfceryuj. i love having a qwerty keyboard just so i can do that.
ok this guy next to me just sat down with a no joke, 10,000 page book, popped an addy, cracked open a red bull and opened the book to page 1.
beeferoni + vodka = puke stuck in braces.
Fine. Just this once and because its veterans day will I send you a picture of my tits. You're lucky I love this country.
"lets watch the sunrise" turned into "lets have sex on the roof at six thirty in the morning"
she gave me head while i watched the '98 Rose Bowl on espn classic. Ryan Leaf really was a huge bust
It's not meant to be. I also just shot a turkey baster of gin into Nate's eye, so....
My high school reunion is Thursday so I need to find an outfit that says "Haha, you got fat and I got tits. Suck it, bitches."
Also, my phone suggested the phrase “puke in the mailbox" how many times have I had the need to text that to people?
He stopped his car in the middle of ongoing traffic to ask me to marry him. Then he got pulled over. Yeah I'd say the slutty Dallas Cowboys costume was a success.
Your hotness may or may not have landed him in jail.
When did it become normal to wake up in the middle of the night to take a group bathroom break and have a 10 minute discussion on where the next football game is?
I feel like ditching all logic and responsibility and get shit-faced before the week's over. Thoughts?
Looks like taco salad for lunch. I may have died and gone to be better circle in hell than I thought.
Your dick is the only reason I have motivation to come back to school today
I should be in a better mood, I just went home and had a quickie on my lunch break.
I had a sandwich.
Randomize
