pissed the bed twice, first one side then rolled over , other side. boom.
he needs to stop telling all his friends what my queefs sound like. its getting awkward to be around people who can quote my vagina.
my sex list reads like a who's who of mcdonald's general managers
i have no idea who im with but someones making meatballs. im going to stay.
i woke up with "only hugh can prevent florist friars" written up my arm ... i need to know what we did last night
Do you miss the park or do you miss us having sex in public?
So heartbroken my rebound has a rebound
She tried to gratify me left handed. Let's just say I've been placed on the 15 day DL.
Drinking wine from a straw at 6:15 in the morning. This is what college does to people.
Oh my god the guy at DQ just gave me the number 69 and winked at me
In other news, Justin Bieber has a big dick and that makes me uncomfortable.
There's a potato with a bite taken out of it in the kitchen
Was it cause you feel bad for the ridiculousness my vagina goes through because same
It was a fun night! I woke up with a boyfriend, again....
It's National Whipped Cream Day, prep those nips
Randomize