I just saw my grandmother naked. again. this needs to stop now.
Sad Moment: I only had enough $ at 711 to buy chips or salsa. I chose salsa and took a plastic spoon
You poured sparks in your panties and NOW you're wondering why you have a UTI?
i just saw a guy carrying a medieval times commemerative glass filled with vomit.. there were 2 people cheering him from behind
i would think by now you'd realize that my penis does whatever the fuck it wants and i have no control over the situation
She told me that as long as she kept starring at the freckle on her arm she wouldnt throw up
I feel the need to send all my exes pictures of penises larger than theirs. Because they all must suffer.
She puked her nose ring out of her face.
Don't worry we will all be making bad decisions soon
That's the most comforting thing I've heard in months
Just so you know, classy bitches change the morning after in a CVS bathroom.
My heart is swelling with pride right now. I fucking love you.
I greatly enjoy being related to her. Even if is it only by a penis.
Bringing families together since 1987
I have what looks like a rubber stamp mark on my cock from last night that says "Magic Marla Approved" Do we know a Marla?
Oh my god I would go to planned parenthood the same day I get my nipples pierced
I woke up naked with a duck on my head. I think something went horribly wrong.
I just had a 30-minute convo with an irrelevant fuckboy from college who decided to tell me FOUR years later he’s sorry for sleeping with 3 girls at once including me.
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