I was thinking about him in the shower then i get out of the shower and there was a text from him
its like he has a camera inside of my shower that looks into my brain
i wish sherlock holmes were still around today... he'd be able to find my g-spot.
It had been so long since my last time that it was easily a double helping of stomach pancakes. I think she was mildly impressed.
Fuck Spring. The birds chirping at 4am make me feel unnatural for still being up and drunk.
my mom just emptied my water bottle filled with vodka into the turtle tank.
When i left he was drinking an entire pot of coffee out of the pot with a straw. It's safe to say he's using a personal day
I plan on showing these boobs to so many people that by the end of it ill just have a shirt of beads.
Yea no bueno and I only brought enough weed to last one night. And it was no Hanukah nug, it didn't last 8 days.
I think I just smoked a piece of your foot. Were u picking your feet by the weed?
i asked him to talk to me in french while we fucked and halfway through i caught the word 'lasagna'. turns out he was making his grocery list.....i asked him to keep going.
my bed is a shrine, and I am its goddess.
I left the office with a vacuum, 2 condoms and 300 dollars cash money. Tell me I don't have the most versatile job on the planet.
Girl i am always here for you. But i am going to have sex now so im going to call you in the morning.
Let's just say if my bucket list had "fngered in the middle of a club by a complete stranger while being sprayed by UV paint" then that is well and truly ticked off.
I'd like to know who hasn't seen my tits tonight.
Randomize
