dude i'm inner monologue high
We drove past his house blaring "Like a virgin" in the middle of the day. pretty sure he heard.
I just had sex in a cardigan. Made me feel old. Smarter somehow, but old.
i offered her breakfast shots. she politely declined.
I guess I just got drunk and ordered a mini fridge off the internet. At least now I know the 200$ that was missing from my checking account wasn't spent on lap dances only.
my boss told me he would look for my wallet when he went back to the strip club tonight.
Moral of the story: If you're gonna throw a glass of wine in a guy's face, don't do it in your own kitchen.
We spilled a whole bottle of mouth wash and then proceeded to roll around and make out in it. At least I smell minty fresh.
You are the only person I have ever seen offer your other drink to the bouncer on two fors night
Bouncers are people too...giant angry people
To confirm, you are a grown ass man and you just asked me what her vag looked like.
Also, thank you for letting me cry in your lap on the bathroom floor. I can't remember if I was clothed at that point, but if I wasn't, extra thank you.
if youre gonna throw up it might as well taste like christmas :S
So stoned that I pressed the unlock button on my car keys to walk into my bedroom...
Everytime after he came, he'd laugh uncontrolably for ten mintutes. He was sober..
is caitlin alive?
ya she's alive she's watching a movie
ok remind her she drank toilet water then.
Randomize
