Yes. UR adorable in a weird way.
just peed in the tub, threw it on Megan.. she threw more back, I got out and threw toilet water on her.. forecast for tomorrow? pink eye.
Is it bad that I was more upset about not getting the perfume he told me he had bought for me then the actual breakup?
If Bret Micheals dies..will VH1 have to go off the air?
Stoned ambition #8. Must learn sign language.
You are the worst substitute drug dealer ever
i was staring at her drunk thinking "shes at least a four"
You just threw your burrito at the passing teenage couple and yelled "It's never gonna last" of course your were a shit show
Sweet. Warning: i have been drinking at work since 4. Plan accordingly.
Copy that. Decided to shower with a beer in a glass bottle. Gotta stop the bleeding first. Be there is 20
yo knit me an eyepatch. but also make it usable as a thong
I just want it to be said that I had sex in my Belle dress last night. Classy motherfucker.
Today one of my patients offered me pot brownies. Medical school worth it. Living the dream.
I'm super disappointed in my clit.
Consume your own penis you ugly freak.
Randomize
