i gave him head before the novacaine wore off...i think his penis touched my lung
school has made you so classy.
that's mcgill. producing sluts since 1884.
Remeber, hes got nothing better to offer you than drunk words and hairy balls.
Now he's talking about how he's writing in a journal because he doesn't remember "his thought patterns when he was in elementary and that's distressing". I'm walking home. Fuck this.
there comes a time in a mans life when you ask yourself, will i fake love for blowjobs? and the answer is always yes
Someone better explain the burnt stove marks on my bed.
You yelled "GET TO DA CHOPPA" and burst through her screen door and disappeared into the night. With the goose.
I was gonna tell her, but there were too many tongues in my mouth
I haven't seen her in ages, how is she?
Well I woke up next to her this morning so I guess I would say she could be doing better
I put you to bed and you would not go unless I let you sleep with the vodka
Apparently I tried my hand at mustard juggling. I wasn't very good.
Was it your intent last night to burn the house down? With a waffle..
Fucked him in a graveyard. Need plan b.
The first thing you did was give us a tour of the house and showed us who was "on-limits" and "off-limits"
Riddle me this: why did I wake up next to a stuffed sword fish?
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