last night was fun... but i spent all morning tring to get the candle wax out of my chest hair. We did use candles last night?
Dude, 1 prime defect in the snuggie- you can't fuck someone discreetly under a snuggie. No way no how
Can you imagine it being physically possible any other way unless the cows are unnaturally flexible
I wish you would always start your sentences with "speaking of my clit..."
I distinctly recall there being a "I can't be dead 2maro" stipulation to going out last night. There's been a breech of contract
and then he started using my ass as a stressball
So can we talk about how we all three made out with the bike taxi driver in lieu of paying him. I'm not even mad, that's resourceful. You know what married girls would have had to do? They'd have had to pay.
Didn't know what to wear so I ripped off my bed sheets and tied myself a toga. "a little hungover" is no way to describe me right now.
I'm thinking about wearing a strap-on just to freak him out the next time he pulls my pants off.
A milkman. But instead of milk I'm delivering marijuana. And instead of a milk truck it's an armored car.
You're a weed delivery man, in an armored car?
I did it on acid. I can cook bacon on any condition
My RA just sigh me high as fuck acting like a zombie and scratching at my door. Thoughts?
I'm just trying to win a butt plug dude
She was blowing me like a porn star and all I could think was "you just told me your grandfather is dying in hospice right now"
sober me doesnt really want him anymore, but when drunk me takes over, she might want him, and god only knows the shit that might happen with drunk me.
Randomize
