Do you think Capital One would let me put the Tub Girl picture on my Capital One card?
Beat you to it.
I'm just looking at Lindsay Lohan's vagina.
Oh yea! I was just doing that too!
You were so drunk that you were trying to take pictures of a MILF at the park so you could send them to Adam, but you didn't want to "seem creepy," so you used taking pictures of her son as a cover. Needless to say, cops were called.
Did you know the Dallas Cowboy cheerleaders have an exercise show ON Demand? Yeah, I had a lonely night
I went golfing for the first time today!! Aren't you proud?
Driving a golf cart around all day with a keg attatched to the back doesn't exactly count as golfing
We haven't even moved into the apartment yet and she has already screwed two of our neighbors. This is going to be the longest 12 month lease of my life.
and that my friend is why you dont go in for an eye exam and drop 250 dollars on a pair of glasses after smoking a blunt
Wake up we need to beat the walk of shame rush hour
Prob because you've thrown up alot. As long as its not like pure blood you're fine. Drink water.
I feel like I just want to take a shot of jack, have sex, and shoot myself in the face. In that order exactly.
I'm making a quesadilla and including it in the picture because that's the only way I think I can send her dick pics.
He's the only guy without a tacky accent I've seen in this southern dump in 6 months. Bangage was inevitable.
You're such a Yankee.
I'm supposed to nail the old lady at 1:30 so I'll see you at 1:35ish.
I need to wake up with a beard between my thighs more often, I'm a fucking saint.
Sometimes I wish I lived alone because there would be no one to judge me if I wanted to have whiskey and popcorn for breakfast.
Randomize
