is it wrong that I want a "Where The Wild Things Are" tshirt that points to my junk?
After watching Cinemax for a few months, real porn just grosses me out.
Yeah, I just met her and we got arrested together. I think it was a good bonding experience.
This teachers last name is pfister and she did the fisting motion to help explain how to pronounce her name. This class might be good
I'm pretty sure we scarred one of our coworkers. This is the second time he has caught us both fully undressed and banging at work.
Either he has bad timing or he wants to join.
What's the right thing to say when he sends me a picture of his penis ?
Relationships are fuckin' work. And you can't just up and leave with no questions when you really just need to get home because you're about to shit your pants.
You're so wise.
him and the cab driver we buy e from got into a fist fight, about which show is better, futurama or family guy.
Apparently we don't communicate very well unless we're drunk and/or naked
Well I just finished dry heaving so I think breakfast is a little further out for me
We can't stop being roommates, you do such a good job of holding my hair back when I puke. I don't wanna buy hair elastics.
I can feel your judgement through the phone
I can't really text bc it's too expensive but I thought youd like to know I just shit myself in a gift shop.
try to milk me bitch
please don't ironically join a cult
Randomize
