im going to have to ask you to stop vomiting stars, rainbows, and butterflies all over your facebook statuses...
Yeah the sex got weird after I said "who's your daddy?" and she actually moaned her dads name.
Following a car with a GPS. We don't know where he's going, but he probably has a better idea of where we're going than we do. Also, very high.
I literally might walk of shame home on a cable car. If that doesn't scream San Francisco I don't know what does
Wydf in so deruk i just dowwned a packet if salt waitibg for food at del taco
More likely there's a very shell-shocked cat wandering around somewhere, covered in potato peelings
Her boyfriend only talks to me because I know her period schedule
I was the one passing out cake at the bars
What kind of a birthday party isn't a get drunk and ruin everything party
Jumanji is 1000% better stoned while cooking breakfast.
L'Shannah Tovah!
Whats that? My new stripper name?
mom had to come pick me up from the hotel. I crawled to her car. She told me the entire way home if I puked in it I was going to lick it up. Like high school all over again...
I just had a dream that I was fighting Donald Trump... Gotta stop watching the news before bed
Ok fell asleep on a bus in south Carolina just woke up in Canada where the hell is the liquor store from here?!
Just fyi i'm now butt naked in a steam room smoking a bong in some guys house. i sense the weed penetrating my pores.
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