So apparently I told him I was off to go "whore skipping" and I disappeared into the night skipping down the street. I know this because there's video.
I just watched nsync videos for the past half hour and you could totally tell lance bass was gay in all of them
Things I have learned since the start of my first college spring break: do not fart in an enclosed space (such as a shower stall) when hungover. You will throw up. More lessons to follow as week continues.
Some kid just stopped wherever he was walking, turned to me, and gave me a slow clap. So I'm pretty sure my walk of shame beats yours.
Welp, I can cross "making out with a guy in a dress" off my bucket list...
I'm truly not mad that he's at a strip club, it's that he couldn't look far enough into the future to figure out how to get himself home from one
you told the police officer you wanted to be just like her one day but not a lesbian
Hahahaha .. If it makes you feel better I had a sex dream about a cheeseburger last night so I feel like we both lose.
Nothing says you made great Saturday night choices like someone's dick that you don't remember, poking you in the ass Sunday morning.
I can't wait to shower all this regret off of me
Sexting and pancakes... It's going to be hard to top that
you said "it's karaoke night" and tried to use my dick as a microphone
I'm not 100 percent on this, but I think I just shit a lump of cement. What the fuck happened last night?
Nice girl until she takes off the fake human suit and shows you the flesh eating demon she truly is
I'm gonna invite every single tinder date I've had to my birthday. Let them fight, battle Royale style. The winner gets to fuck me. \n\nBest. Birthday. Ever
Randomize
