Well i threw up in my mouth a few times. But i successfully swallowed it. Still going strong.
Fair warning.. porn on your laptop when you turn it on.. seemed like a wonderful idea last night.. until it died
Just so you know, each of my boobs fits perfectly in a martini glass.
dude i just saw a drunk guy attempt to get by IUPD and throw a uprooted bleacher seat over the edge of the stadium. funniest thing of life.
details please.
they caught him 10 rows from the top. the first thing he said was "wait I can explain, i just have to throw this over first."
you came back at 4am in a suit jacket and a half eaten burrito...
I can't wait until next week, when I find out what drunk me added to the Netflix queue.
I left you pizza on the porch. I didn't want to wake you, if you were passed out on the bathroom floor again. Sorry if it's cold.
okay, please tell me Cammy is the one who put the picture and note on my desk saying "beat off to this homeboy"
The girl in the stall next to me is puking her brains out, I'd say she had just a good a weekend as us
I gave her some alkaseltzer ad she looked at me lke I was god
Why are you there anyways?
Pickin up ball pit balls from craigslist
This is my punishment for trynna have a festive time with a stranger. I always forget you can't get weird with one night stands
Walgreens has pop rocks. Be prepared to get your dick sucked.
I saw the president of my women in business club at the bar last night...I was gonna thank her for teaching me the business skills to create my own fake to get in... then i decided not
Can I just go naked and covered in glitter?
I know you can't find me. Somehow I ended up on the roof smoking a cig with the strippers that are on break. Way too drunk to deal with this right now.
Randomize
