he got wood on it!
i know. i had to sit in his lap on the plane. he also wore teva sandals.
...i was talking about hockey
she was in the bathroom washing her eye makeup off with hand sanitizer.
I'm going to die alone in a sea of empty vodka bottles and cats.
Don't worry that pussy is fresh, I'd brush my teeth with it.
I got us a lift home. Payment may require me giving road head, are you cool just chilling in the back seat pretending to be oblivious to this happening?
Used my phone to vibrate 'eye of the tiger'. It's like Rocky is punching my nuts, but gently.
Well I'm drunk and covered in baby oil so tonights not ideal
OMG. Dad just threw a 100 dollar bill down on the table for a girl to lift her shirt. I think he was kidding, but...
Being a slave to ur dick is exhausting.
Idk how I even got accepted into college because literally the only things my brain ever thinks about are YouTube videos of baby animals and sex.
plus like he's kinda a piece of shit. a beautiful somewhat talented piece of shit that hella needs to get his life together
RUDE you're the one missing half a nipple...
IT HEALED AND GREW BACK TO BE A FULL HEALTHY NIPPLE OKAY
He's on the porch naked. Help.
Idk if you own a vibrator or anything but it's not smart to leave it in dad's car for him to find :/
Dude, Kevin called the cops on the cops.
Randomize
