No matter how drunk I am, I will take the time to wipe a pube off the toilet seat.
$3 wine plus diet sprite does not make good champagne.
does taste better than andre tho
Forgot that I saved my paper as "Eat Shit Edwards" and e-mailed it because I missed class. I'm sure Prof. Edwards will be delighted when she gets it. I don't anticipate a passing grade.
she was seriously choking and the whole time all he kept saying was "that's what she said"
First lesson of the year: don't close the bar on mondays
He filled our room with little plastic cups of beer so the only way I could get out was by drinking them all.
i got us a cheese tray and a bottle of whiskey
ugh yes i love our date nights
You guys crashed sarahs vespa into a snowbank and its still there. not cool.
...im seriously confused as to why this doesn't make sense to you. Girl hostage, rob casino. Makes perfect sense.
Using our apartments online floor/space planner to see how many beer pong tables we can fit. Dont think they had this in mind when they put this thing online.
Probably not lol but were fitting as many as possible
Ugh..Yesterday was a complete alcohol fueled shit show. Not making eye contact with anyone today. Don't deserve it. Eye contact is for decent people.
It could happen. I haven't creeped the rest of the guest list yet.
Just creeped. Everyone is a passable 7. Orgy is a go!
My vagina has a heartbeat. That means I'm in love, right?
At what point in a new hookup do you tell the guy you need to wear a mouth guard when you sleepover because of your TMJ? Asking for a friend.
You tried to pick a fight with a polka band saying that you'd wrap the accordion around their throats
Randomize
