I took my penis out way before I got to the bathroom and some dude kicked me out.
She needs to learn what's it like to have sex with someone and regret it the next day.
Puking in one of the stalls, a guy ran in and started puking in the other stall... In between heaves we told each other our names; i found out that it was my old best friend that moved away in the 8th grade
Do you think the guy at the front desk was watching us last night? Although we were in a public pool, therefore our tits were free game.
Went from beach to class to bar all while wearing my swimsuit as pants. Clearly I'm dressed for success.
I am not ready to suck todays dick. Todays dick just laughed and came on my face.
Weirdly I'm doing ok, but I've tested positive for chlamydia, I wanted to let you know
What are your plans?
Get picked up. Convince you to leave work. Smoke. Drink. Fly helicopters.
I met my future husband in an elevator. Think Hispanic version of Dr. Bunsen Honeydew from the Muppets, but with eyes like Michael Fassbender.
Question. There's no better feeling than clean shaven balls. Do girls get that too?
This really high kid past out in the corner of the room holding a box of cheez its in his arm. My idol.
No more pre-dentist shots, I just puked on my hygienist
So Saturday night after 10 drinks I guess he tried to have sex with me and in the middle of it I asked "can you tell I'm faking it!?" and then I sat up and threw up in my hand. That's a sex Win in my books
answer honestly do you think i can make a bloody mary with ketchup????
Just told my dad about my heroic mailbox showdown. He looked at me strange. I think he thinks I'm high.
You are high.
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