We were both sleeping and she woke up and just puked i feel so bad for everyone around us
you know you are hungover when... you set your alarm for the next time you think you are going to throw up
Dude she has a bf and shes on lockdown more than Nelson Mandela in 95
I saw those LARP guys in the street again. One is hot, the other looks like Corey Fieldman's retarded son.
but i have a bet that her boyfriend is going to try and deflower her tonight so i better get a move on if i want to videotape it
and then they started calling me 'Shitshow Shandra', which apparently i took as a compliment.
He confessed to putting dry erase marker dots on my vibrator to keep track of when I "electronically cheated" and then passed out.
In the library. Still drunk. Shoes missnig. Term paper due in fiften minutes. Iff I puke u think theyll throw me out?
nothing says 4th of july like teaching grandma how to work a keg
I almost had to get my pinky cut off. Wow I'm so happy. We won beer olympics so i didnt hahaha
screw jello shots the kids from the culinary school made pudding shots with 4 loko.
I won't apologize to a one balled man
I JUST HAD A FLASH MEMORY OF DOING A SHOT OF WHISKEY WITH MY BEER YOU WERE SUPPOSED TO PUNCH ME IN THE FACE TO PREVENT THAT FROM HAPPENING.
We were fucking and his phone rang and it was his grandma. He just had a conversation with his grandma while fucking me from behind. Then his dad called and asked him what he wanted from taco bell.
You should frame my arrest warrant.
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