I just saw that your im name has '4eva' in it. Your man card has been revoked.
My plan for valentine's day: take a shot for every guy I've slept with. To keep me from going to the hospital I'm only doing half a shot for small dicks
she carries around a jar of peanut butter. "just in case".
This is no lauging matter. Huge cock equals great sex. Marriage to huge cock equals great life.
Succesfully slept on the roof at work for 3.5 hours without getting caught. I need a promotion
No more. You can't have nice things, and vodka is a nice thing.
Oh yeah and one of the strippers brought you chips and water when you were passes out next to the toilet. So that was nice
I kinda took a step back after our "surprise bottles night"
It's because of weed that I don't mind driving an hour to visit my family. And it's because of you that there's weed in my life. Thank you.
She's licking the whiskey out of the carpet. I think we may be soulmates.
Seriously. All I want right now is a 40 with a nipple on it, and a nap
I had the bathroom of girls sing you happy birthday while you puked. I couldn't stop laughing. They were all so supportive
I'm not getting off this floor. I love this floor
I need to hire someone full-time to slap food and dick away from me.
I got kicked out of the E.R. for saying "balls".
Randomize
