So what if i'm late to spanish tomorrow. who the hell cares. i don't even speak spanish.
I'm pretty sure my penis yawned halfway through. That loose.
Well, both are illegal but one involves my vagina a whole lot less.
Some drunk couple just made out on the sidewalk and it reminded me some sweet moments we have shared...
found scuba porn. totally not sexy. life continues to disappoint.
MISSING: One left eyebrow. Reward if returned.
i love all of you. Physical. Emotional. Mental. All of it. When we speak i feel like a feather or a dragon depending on the conversation ...
We waved. But it was a "let's hook up" wave.
and then I said "oh, I see the price of Plan B has gone up". and the pharmacist looked at me very sadly. I was just trying to make conversation.
We took vodka shots. You kept saying it was the key to your heart.
I just pawned the ring from my ex boyfriend to replace the ring I lost from my current boyfriend. #thanks
Man, coughing on your period is like the biggest gamble a girl can make.
You took nana to a bar?!
she suggested it
Why do all my exes just become Tom Hanks in Castaway?
That's a fantastic question. And an odd set of criteria to meet if wanting to date you.
He just showed up at my house with a giant box of Trojans and a 6-pack of Yoohoo "for a special treat afterwards". I'm in love.
Randomize
