My moms helping me unpack but im getting a little nervous because I dont remember where i put my dildo
I just found 22 drunken videos and 4 naked pictures on my phone. We'll start the bidding at $5
you refused to leave the drive-thru at mcdonalds until the cashier took a jello shot
update: last drink of the night and im naked in my porch hammock. life is good.
just to let you know, its not cheating if i cant feel my hands.
He said my labia gave my vagina a "cute personality"
at one point i was feeding a guy sour cream chips and he made me make the "choo choo" noise as they were going in. \ni feel so much closer to him now.\n
Come over we're celebrating the one month anniversary of her first 4/20
If I wasn't stoned and knee deep in cheese and crackers I'd help.
When I say "is it a bad idea to do Mollie before an 8hr shift tomorrow?" I dont want to hear the truth I want to hear you encouraging my bad decisions
He sent me a pic stitch collage of all the tit pics I had sexted him this month. It was so sweet!
like, by the end of my shift people were asking if I'd sobered up enough to take a drink order yet. that bad.
I want you to remember that you started masturbating in front of a car full of people. That drunk.
Also I've decided to start stealing shot glasses after I do the shots. You in?
Last time I went to flagstaff I threw up in my beard. I would very much like to recreate that moment.
DO IT!
Randomize
