vicodin is the reason why I believe in magic
Hey Operation Dumbo Drop... FYI, when you select your date this evening, our doorway is 3'x7'
jersey shore drinking game rules must be edited. almost died. how is it possible for a person to say guido that many times
I was just texting to see if your vagina was working yet.
He could list all of the presidents! Every one, and in order!! I was so impressed the least I could do was give him a blow job.
Ah, yes. Making our founding fathers proud.
FYI I'm about to upload a vid of you to facebook of you screaming "SNACK ATTACK" and throwing cheetos at everyone playing pong...
they call him Oral-B. enough said
We tried to break her futon, I crushed my balls instead. You have one less reason to be jealous that my balls are insanely huge and yours are not.
I spent a lot of time in their kitchen cause I was convinced that the living room was gonna fall... Sorry for not warning you about that.
I'm really high and I'm watching this show where Gordon Ramsay goes to other people's restaurants and just yells at them about things.
im just laying in bed, eating, getting fat, enjoying eating and getting fat, thinking about how i will probably have to get a fat boyfriend.
the last time I drank tequila I ended up riding your skateboard nude down the street... so yeah, I'll have a few shots.
I just smoked by myself in my childhood bedroom, how happy does it seem I am to be home for Christmas?
I love how fuckboys immediately become cultured when I tell them I’m an artist.
I just saw a woman give her infant whiskey tits. About ten minutes ago she was doing shots, and now she's breast feeding. Whiskey. Tits.
Randomize
