girl! he was asleep with his back to me.he farted and i actually felt the wind blow across my leg.nice
found a new level of pathetic. i watched a guy pick out cigarette butts from a jar that weren't completely finished. make sure you go somewhere in life.
so i'm just gonna leave my credit card in your mailbox so you can bail me outta jail.. deal?
if we break up, blackout me is coming back, making out with everything in sight
i googled waterboarding like you asked. as long as you do it outside. we have carpet. but i wont be a part of it.
Okay, good. And if you have one of those portable strip poles that would be nice too.
I can't see straight with both eyes and ive only been at the bar for an hour. Someone else typed this for me.
Just spiked the bong with a ludens cough drop with hopes it soothes my throat after i rip it.
i can't believe he threw up on you. Well thats what you get for being DD. I used the sombreros as a shield!
That's what he gets for shittin at the strip club. Who does that??
I just wanna get hammered somewhere crazy. Meet some chicks. Bang them and then go scuba diving.
We knew we were dealing with a pro when some random guy at the bar thew you over his shoulder and you still didn't spill your drink
Strangely enough, that's not the first time that's happened
No I don't want to see you. You're the reason that I'm going to need a new liver by the time I'm 30.
If there's anything else you're planning on stealing from me, please let me know so I can set it on fire
If you don't believe in my fighting skills, I don't know if we can be together
Randomize
