official worst smell ever. a used condom that has gone through the dryer.
Wheres my "thanks for using birth control effectively and not contributing to the downfall of society" card.
Golf group in front of us has 2 hooker caddies. One guy was getting a lap dance as he waited to tee off. Only in vegas.
your love of good penises attached to ugly faces is disgusting and slightly disturbing.
We're both on the slippery slope toward middle age...and really shame riddled bar experiences
I'm. Arresyed bur sierra ue obbe of mt vet friends. I hope we can tyajk ane gwt ob the same page. Ur aweaome ttyl.
well I woke up with about $3 in odd change and a note that said "I'm borrowing your weed." So, no, it didn't go to well.
This is a mass text. First one to reply gets head.
Before anyone claims this, this chick is in my boyfriend's phone as "Worst BJ EVER!"
Does that mean you're calling dibs or can I?
Just had a VERY VIVID visualization of wrapping a pizza around my cock and fucking its brains out. Soooooo less weed more dates?
They have a house rule that you get a composite for every 5 guys you sleep with. Where should I hang my new one?
I have been drunk every time I've gone to mexico. I do not remember mexico.
She was dressed as a banana and told me that I needed more potassium in my diet. Of course I went down on her.
Seeing my ex post concert Snapchat videos as an Instagram really reinforces that I made the right choice...
i just remembered i drunk watched the brave little toaster last night
When the paramedic asked Logan how he fell he explained that he was trying to lick his eyeball, missed and tripped over his own tongue.
Randomize