I jusy said out loud "gingers unite in the middle of the night"
Oh yes. The girl who wanted me to watch her pee.
I would rather wake up to a truck driver than wake up to her
After I told my husband the docter shot me in the ass, he said - oh they can but I can't?!
if we break up, who will get the dealer?
the size of his penis is telling me NOOO! but his bank account is telling me YESSS!
Random girl at this party just gave me a lap dance in a la-Z-boy. Night significantly improved.
You were shirtless with a cowboy hat in 15 degree weather then u shotgunned a can of mixed vegetable Progresso soup
he literaly had a hockey helmet on and was swan diving off the couch onto the coffee table.
Not only was there cake on the wall but someone shoved cake and meat in a cup and put it in the fridge.
I loved your drunken rendition of "I wanna dance with somebody" that you left on my voicemail last night.
I'm not proud of how I threatened that 8 year old during drunken laser tag
You kept singing "your gonna lose that girl" to him right in front of her.. of course you got punched in the face.
Bitch how dare you drink my dos equis
How early is too early to start day drinking? Asking for a friend
About five minutes ago. You’re good now.
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