By getting ready I mean putting baby powder in my hair and possibly changing my pajamas to another pair of pajamas
or how I got to mom's but there is vomit on my shoes. I never thought i'd be recapping with her.
He was waring a speedo fashioned out of american flag bandanas and when he got hard he said "you're such a patriot...raising the american flag like that"
It went from cuddling and watching blood diamond to watching the three of them snort an entire $80 bag of blow off the coffee table
I swear there's a gravitational pull from your vagina to large groups of men in uniform.
I've got to stop giving the gift of vagina for every occasion. I'm exhausted.
You overflowed the toilet cuz you tried to flush apples. you said they were singing too loudly
They knew I had a party because the refrigerator settings were different, but they don't notice that we installed a new toilet seat so it's okay.
Well at least the house will be decorated when u get evicted.
Have bite marks on my arm where my temporary tat was Saturday night. Did someone try to bite Captain America or something?
One of the many mysteries surrounding the weekend...
he was Irish, I had to have sex with him.
I'd still fuck that
You'd fuck a dead moose
Quite possible
Yeahh. im on the phone with him drunk. he told me he found a pigeon in a cardboard box and named it quincy...
I was looking at your nipple and it made me think of you
Well I hope so...
She kept telling me that it pissed her off that i expect people to make out with me...then she made out with me. Win?
Randomize
