Packing for the trip... do they take Visa in South Dakota?
I seriously fake cumming more than i poop.
i just licked my manager on accident and i'm freaking out
just saw your exgirlfriend at the mall. her sister is pretty hot.
called that a week into the relationship. like driving off the lot with a 2010 and seeing the 2011 models coming in on the truck.
There is a mosh pit in our kitchen. You better hurry.
I can't believe all the places I got into shoeless last night. Apparently no one will say no to a girl covered in paint with a ripped shirt
The cops walked in to class and arrested 2 guys for possession.
guy just got out of the car at the drive in and told his girlfriend "fuck you and your taco" and walked off
I told him that his face would look perfect between my legs. One of my most successful strategies yet.
So ran into your ex from sophomore year last night... Apparently hes gay and a stripper now. we all got lap dances because we knew you
It was incredible. For as long as I live, I will gladly drop whatever I'm doing and spend a night with her face between my legs ANY time she asks.
I am decidedly straight, but I'll write it into my wedding vows if I have to.
"I'm a professor to university students" I say as I realize I have a nipple piercing that I have no memory of getting
I went to smoke a bowl and realized that my lighter is out and there's still frozen blueberries in my bong... I need to reevaluate my life...
Ive got small boobs, but they sure do like to pop out and party with the big dogs.
Apparently i disappeared and no one found me until the morning , but i have fifty missed calls
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