isnt it creepy that our bodies make people
Fyi mom and I voted and you're the DD tonight, congratulations
I dont even clean my room anymore .. i drunk proof it for when i come back smashed with a guy
it's like her boobs came off with her bra
Dude. I only took a 20 out the ATM last night. How do I have 83 ones?
You stole from the strippers again. I wish I was ninja like you
Time for jim to play the "dont seriously consider pooping in the trash" game
Im hitting on this chick at a stoplight when all the sudden. i notice this chick blowing some dude in the backseat.
good news: smoking weed at school again, quality of life has improved drastically
I had sex in a panda mask the other night.
I named my Roomba after my pot dealer. I have a problem, don't i?
If you hear death cries, thats me singing. Just let me be.
Idk if I should be worried or amused that my autocorrect changes the word STD to DTF.
Sorry, was sleeping. I heard a rumor that I had a hangover, so I just went with it...
I think I achieved my goal of being high for 24 hours in the same week I promised myself I wouldn't smoke anymore
its a comptetion of fuckups and im HERE TO WIN
Randomize
