Think the blond can even spell "shiksa"?
this is going to sound stupid but when I was drunk and thought I was a stripper where I did toss my pants?
I can't. I will literally throw up my liver
Why dont you be an ebola patient for halloween? You can totally throw up and itll be part of your costume.
Where are you? I hear fireworks and you've gone missing. I'm sure that is not coincidence.
No. I heard a cover of "my heart will go on". This is not sanity.
I am the kind of drunk to where i can still drive a golf cart
"I'm looking more at his dick bulge." Never thought I'd hear those words come out of my boyfriend's mouth.
if it looks like there's being an exorcism being performed you know your doing something right.
In the liquor store when a straight girl and a gay guy were just arguing about who hooked up with the same guy first.
For breaking and entering. I think neighbor dan cared more about me puking in his backseat than the surprise of me waking up there
He wanted to watch the vow, cuddle, and not have sex. An upgrade is in order.
blue gatorade loses no color upon regurgitation
I gave him blue balls & ate the last slice of pie so the chances of a second date are slim...
He's nice and all but I think I rather masturbate my way to happiness instead.
I like shiny stuff tho if that’s an emotion
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