her name is jenna, so i wanna cunt punt her
that's how i am about ashleys and britneys
i'm sending her a home depot gift card for the hole i put in her wall. call it good?
just walked past a group of stoners who were staring open jawed in the spice aisle. tonight they will stumble upon something amazing.
omg theres cum all over the american flag and now its up in front of his house.
Theres also beggin' strips and a dog bone in the corner...nooo signs of there being a dog though.
I just want dick. Yours just gets priority because it is glorious
My one night stand found me at the library and randomly gave me plan B. He was scared I was going to get pregnant because he has a very high sperm count.
he walked down the highway for 3 miles at 4 am, and got me coffee on the way. i dont think a blow job would have been enough.
Smoked a joint and chugged some pepto. Feeling a lil better... Not sure which is working..... Gonna keep doing both.....
I just realized the only way to play Edward forty-hands is commando in a skirt. This intelligence kick is really doing me justice.
I'm going to empty my bank account and roll around in the cash. Want to join?
I just threw up again because I opened my eyes... God is laughing. I resorted to taking the Mexican Dramamine because I feel seasick from walking. Not helping.
You know she's gonna fuck shit up when she shows up in a neon wind-suit
Awake! can you bring me my pants...im under the couch
Wanna get drunk and make some bad decisions?
Are you calling me a bad decision?
Randomize
