hey, what are you doing tonight?
sleeping, g'night!
but i wanted to see you :(
sleeping! g'night!(801): i miss you!
stop - you have a right hand - use it!
Smith looks like a guy that goes on a lot of first dates
they just did a mariachi cover of free bird
i kept telling her phones are not food, and she countinued to put it in her mouth..
tan lines, throwing up everclear on the beach, doing lifeguards, tequila...summer.
There's a stripper banging on the door demanding to see you.
im not even sure if i fucked her just woke up in her closet.
Okay. So my choices are the sleeping Guy who looks about twelve and a man that looks like he was the original sandman. Im gonna need a beer for this......
She was rubbing her face on the carpet, she was high.
I just conveyed my whole sex life to my mom over voicemail. Anddd, I'm hammered.
Top night. Top night.
Some guy just ordered at Cosmo and 2 screwdrivers in the sky club at 8:30 am. I'm starting to feel a lot better about my alcoholism
If they could bottle a hangover it would taste exactly like lemon lime Gatorade and failed hopes and dreams
We duck taped Dave to a rolling chair and shoved him in the bed of the truck then took off for a bit.. We didn't explain it that way when the nurse asked what happened though.
who knew magic tricks and sex would actually go together?
All I want is a hot dog on a Saturday at 2:19 is that to much to ask?!
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