Tell him ill love him long time
I'll assure him of it
we were holding hands throwing up into the same garbage can; if thats not true love i dont know what is .
I was working er so they smashed a vodka bottle over dan's head so they'd have an excuse to visit
I have seen more male genitalia at this party tonight than I ever want to see again in my entire life.
He just "revenge puked" on her kid. I think we'll be leaving soon.
I'm thinking we can stop tracking my sex life by the hotels I've hooked up in and instead use bar bathrooms I've gotten head in.
I had no idea a 5'8 girl could fit entirely on her knees in front of the passenger seat of a Sunfire, but I am very happy to now have that knowledge.
You better of fucked him last night or do it now because he is buying all the roommates McDonald's.
Do what your heart wants. . .
My heart wants to rip his balls off and tie therm to his head using his penis
Its official the day you get back into town we are having a going away to jail party for me. My last wish before prison is to shit faced drunk with you, get into a fist fight, and then cuddle up and fall asleep. Just like old times <3
Never use fire and ice condoms with a dude who always claims he "didn't know it was the wrong hole"
There's jello in my purse I have a mysterious glow stick and didn't sleep with anyone my god I'm 3 for 3 tonight
What happened to my knees?
You ate shit in front of the homeless people. They applauded.
no, but he did start crying. who the fuck is 30, covered in tattoos and crys about an ex? get your shit together, man.
She was here for a threesome... She doesn't have to put the new roll of toilet paper on the dispenser. She can leave the new roll wherever she wants!
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