i just had sex. the condom broke. we're sleeping in to separate beds. And im in albany
Friends don't let friends talk to people who live in Orlando. Sorry I've failed you.
Just saw a maroon grand am stop on my street, the driver opened the door, vomited, and then drove away like nothing happened. Been there, done that.
Best walk of shame ever. Not only did I not remember his name or the fact that we fucked, they all watched as I tried to get into 3 cars that werent mine
Oh and I threw up on myself...
Tell me the dirtiest joke you know
Sarah Palin
god, I love you
They are pre-gaming a trip to congress...not sure how politically correct the group is.
Just mixed vicodin and mucinex. This cold just got fun.
At this point I just want to meet a man with a job.
He was crying because he hiccuped every time he kissed me. We then crawled to the kitchen because neither of us could stand, and I spoon-fed him peanut butter "to cure his ailment."
Now that I'm hitting my bong, I realized I haven't missed something so much in a long time. I love Thomas the Dank Engine.
The bad news is tonight is also a blue moon, ergo, latin, I will have to get 'once in a blue moon' drunk which I feel is significantly more dangerous than IPO drunk
By the time the opening band finished, she was already slurring, coming on to the gay couple next to us, and waving her panties in the air.
MY TITS ARE PERFECTLY CALM.
Good luck. While you're suffocating on a dick, I'll be eating pizza rolls. Being a good girl.
Is it just me or did we have a heart to heart talk while you were naked last night?
Randomize
