Awkward medical moment of the day: A very obese girl with a disorder that literally makes her hit herself punched herself in the face. Literally. While screaming 'MCDONALDS MONEY'. Right. Beside. Me.
and yes, the jail cell in Citi Field does have a big Mets symbol in it
Welll when you have a beer at 8:30 am you've already decided whaat kind of Sunday it ism
her boyfriend dumped her for my exgirlfriend. so filming our hookup is pretty much a definite.
ITS DAYLIGHT SAVINGS TIME SUNDAY EVERYTHING IS GOING TO BE OK AFTER ALL
well the blowjob for study guide exchange was a success.
We will go to karaoke
Okay, well, i'm covered in paint, haven't showered & have already been drinking, so if I fall on the floor in a blaze of depeche mode & beer tears, you can't pretend you don't know me
Just sitting here contemplating the meaning of life.
So you're drunk waiting for the bus.
After pissing all over her van its a lot easier to look her in the eye than I thought.
I had to try on three different bathing suits to hide my boob hickies
Got myself invited to boss's family dinner party, drank too much, and fucked boss's brother in his parent's house. Just another Wednesday.
Someone fucked a stripper in their rental car, there is goddamn glitter everywhere.
I don't remember that much at all. But I guess I met this guy from New Zealand and his dog, and then I punched someone in the face.
that is our friendship pylon, do not lose it
fuck you.
DO NOT LOSE IT
If he brings home bacon, dont let him leave. Dont screw this one up. this may be our last chance.
Randomize
