And just as he was about to come, he screamed "Oh Christy!!"
What's wrong with that? Your name IS christy.
He then said, "Oh shit, sorry Julie."
i just heard one Asian kid say to another, "i bet if i could get into Harvard i could get laid all the time, my brother lost his virginity the first night there."
just woke up to overhearing her on the phone saying "yeah we fucked last night, that makes 42." should i get tested?
well i fucked her too, so yes.
tuesday night obama will do an address about the oil spill at 8... it'll only be about 15 minutes... but i think thats plenty of time for a drinking game. key words "oil" "bp" and "responsibility"?
Fuck yes. Let's make bingo cards.
Please talk me out of ordering the stripper pole for a dollar. Please.
Why do the people I hook up with still exist after we're done?
She asked the woman in the drive through to cover everything she ordered in mayonnaise, including here chilli cheese fries. Didn't happen. Then she started swerving at the car next to us screaming, asking if they had mayonnaise.
I feel like telling him your vigina was older than him was not a good pick up line.
I woke up in my living room, on the floor, wearing nothing but a fur coat?
Haha its fine we ask know it. He's still cool thought
Focus on the keyboard man. Focusssss
Rule #61 of being a lady: never get fingered by a finger with a knuckle tattoo
Just bought condoms with a walmart gift card. Thanks grandma.
Listen, I booty called my boss last night from the company phone. I may need to brush up my resume.
So, Kevin dropping me off at urgent care. Seems my tampon slipped out of reach. Even after he tried to get it out with some kitchen tongs.
I dont know if hes kidding... but hes drunk and said hes going to shave his balls. Alert your emt friends
Randomize
