That was rough. We had a 50% puke rate and 100% still drunk rate at lunch
I woke up this morning and thought "Im sure I've seen this house in a porno" and instantly googlemapped myself
Apparently he doesn't remember leaving the bar
If I spent $100 at the bar and didn't get laid I wouldn't want to remember anything either
Chipotle...archenemy of the gay man. Cockblocking me since 1997
Ordered weed last night from the delivery service, and who showed up...my old real estate broker. He said, "this is less stressful." Duh.
I just don't see what's wrong with carrying a water bottle around.
It's not the bottle. It's the fact that you're drinking wine out of a sport bottle at 9 am.
I think I just found part of a tooth on my bed... What goes on in here?
I left two shots of jager for you guys when you wake up from your death. Do with it as you wish
We are winners. And by winners I mean home wrecking sluts
Isn't that what our 20s r for?? Testing the strength of other people's shitty relationships?
Though I feel a moral obligation to take you there, point out all of the male supervisors and slap you on the wrist and yell, "NO!!"
It feels like I'm being stabbed in the uterus with a rake. That night was totally worth it though. Thanks.
Does Jim keep sending you pics of him in drag too???? If so, are you also slightly uncomfortable?
I know it must have been a hard break up. Are you okay?
Oh yeah, I'm fine dude. My vaginas heart is broken though. I feel bad for her, you should give her a call sometime.
Came out of blackout state to the curtains torn down & the headboard laid on top of him. & yes he was still breathing
Just motorboated this 18 year old girl at the bar. The first time was my idea the other 3 she made me. Maybe turning 27 won't be so bad. Haha.
Randomize
