After he came all over my face, he proceeded to give me a high five. I can't even act upset because I always put myself in these situations. Did I mention D3: Mighty Ducks was playing in the background?
Neighbors just bought a new bong. Got high with them and we decided to name it "Gary colemans sweet sugarlumps" these guys are hilarious
the only time i'm productive on weed is when i drink.
You wrote me a letter and I cannot make out anything you wrote except the last sentence which says "tell the wolf ill meet him at sunset and that I'm sorrry"
He looked me straight in the eye when he was fingering me last night...it was very serial killer.
All i have left of him are the magnum X-Large condoms he left in my room, knowing full well that no other guy I hook up with will be able to fill his shoes. He taunts me.
Ps I don't think it counts as being open minded if you didn't know he was missing a leg until you had already started making out.
you're expensive. Idk about all this. What happened to free make outs?
Sobriety and mild self-respect
Meeting his dad and brother for the first time at the jail while I'm bailing him out ISN'T exactly how I pictured this relationship going....
it looks like my getting laid tonight is going to depend on my knowledge of native birds. this is a weird party
It's his sex noise. "I'm gonna cu-THE LORD IS MY SHEPARD AND I SHALL NOT WANT"
Dude... You called me at 3am to tell me you still had your pants.
As a heterosexual male nursing student, the odds are ever in my favor. My first semester has basically been The Horny Games. I've killed almost all of the competitors at this point.
can you tell me why i woke up in a diaper and combat boots?
A guy just threw up in my lecture of 500 ppl and just got up and walked away
Randomize