i just won a 100 dollar gift card to walmart in a karaoke contest...i love kentucky
Just saw a girl in a wheelchair puke then rally. Diversity matters.
I did the walk of shame to church this morning.
hooker boots and all?
Yep. People looked at me like I was the prodigal daughter returning home. Full of sins but welcome anyway.
I just don't get it. Video games don't suck his dick.
Dude totally calling you out on watching when harry met sally on netflix on demand on april 8th.
As I was climbing out of the pool he slapped my ass and said 'stay golden', i don't know why but it felt right.
traded hat for shot of whiskey. lovah yo life. only ADVENTURE NOW. OH GOD IT WENT TO CAPS LOCK
currently taking a solo cab to the strip club at 1 in the morning. this is healthy.
There are reggae songs being written about me...where have I gone wrong in life?
I'm going through a really dark time right now
I don't want to hear it man. I just jerked it to a pic of my ex wife in a bikini. Buck up
the fact that i came three times was completely negated by the fact that he high-fived himself after.
I lost Mario kart three times but I got laid so it wasn't the WORST night I've ever had.
He was cheering for me from the end of the bar as I sloppily ate a Ruben sandwich. It made me feel really special.
Let's just say, I'm pretty sure you're banned from Skype.... like, forever.
its like probably shouldnt be sending pics of your asshole to strangers who work in the same building as you
Randomize
