Interestingly im still mad at you for the time we got high and you tried to hump me.
Lol thats a classic
He called the drink "The Annexation of Puerto Rico". He wouldn't tell us whats in it but said that we should all fear for our lives. Let's do this.
4 to the list in one week. Slutsville isn't as fun as the brochure promised.
i was just offered a 40 day sex challenge. prepare for the best 40 days of your life.
oh. my. god. yes.
Couldn't find any balloons, so we're doing whippets out of condoms. Being a ho has its benefits.
I think not having bongs in close range is good for my academia
She is currently drunk and caressing my professor's face with one hand.
I'm worried because he hasn't removed it.
They should incorporate dolphins into professional surfing
My balls are resting on a block of frozen cheese in a sealed bag
How is your new roommate working out
We are drinking at the laundromat. And will probably have sex later. So...pretty good.
It also means I'm watching porn with mario earphones so i can hear. Possibly the best way to mastrabate EVER
I had a dream last night that I answered the phone and after I said hello, Shia Lebeouf started yelling "DO IT! JUST DO IT!" That's when I knew, I had officially become meme trash.
I can't open my mouth wide enough to make full use of this snapchate update
I'm so sorry for trying to eat your puzzle last night...
I walked into your room and you were wearing party beads, a foam finger, and reading the dictionary. Good night?
Randomize
