you want to go make fun of the strippers on try out night
i got kicked out last time for laughing
billy ray cyrus is narrating a show on the history channel. my iq cant decide whether to go up or down.
We just started the day with vitamin bombs. Daily vitamin + whatever's left in your glass from last night = feel like a champion
I just can't deal with that sentence
Double vision is so hot when a big dick is in sight. Thank you Bud Light.
Everyone heard you scream that I was to be naked, in your bed in 5 minutes. We were one hell of a shitshow spectacle
I told him if he ever gets a "wink" text from me after 10:00pm to assume I really mean "we should be hooking up by 2:30am"
It was all fun and games until she said "you're so pretty I wanna punch you in the face" and the proceeded to punch her in the face
I think clothing becomes optional at the second date! But you seem like a rule breaker
what food is Colorado known for?
Pot brownies.
If I die write a nice eulogy and bury me with my star wars bobbleheads
someone commented on last weekends photos impressed that so many homeless people wanted to take pictures with us. weird that those "homeless people" are our friends... right?
Apparently i tried to feed this guy's piranhas my whole left arm.. according to him, i was "showing them whos boss, bc if they try to eat my arm, im guna punch their face"
Wine. Check.\nDino chicken nuggets. Check.\n#IssaParty
Ever look at an ex and wonder...was I drunk that entire relationship??
Yes, yes I do.
Found someone cuddling with my Uggs this morning. Guess the hundred pillows laying next to him weren't good enough.
Randomize
