you used to get mad at me for mentioning 'unprotected sex' and happenings in my bed
well yeah, but then i realized the wisdom of your ways.
i just remebered what i did last night, i asked a homeless man on a bike "hey whatcha doin with that bike, wanna make 5 bucks?" he agreed and then rode me on his handle bars a block away to the next bar.
why isn't there a fb relationship option that says 'still banging my ex'
I just threw up a christmastime peep. I am literally already sick of the holidays.
he held my hand while i was giving him head. freud's gotta be turning over in his grave
I sleep with the gay men, they no longer have questions about their sexuality. No strings attached at it's finest and i get new shopping buddies out if it. It really is a win win situation.
You are my idol.
Dude squirt doesnt even begin to describe it i thought she was the lost portal to atlantis with how much she let out
he says he is going to get you very high and make you leave the country with him
possibly by boat
His ass WILL be my cock's next vacation home.
I wish I had a dick so I could say shit like that.
His last Google search was "will sperm ruin the retina display on Apple products?"
So that prostitue I banged at Steve's bachelor party just texted and invited me to a BBQ at her parents. Never again doubt the power of the cock piercing.
I spent most of my night in the men's room eating popcorn on the garbage can conversing with strangers pissing
I DO have hobbies! I drink. I drink more. I catfish men on Grindr with photos of guys who are less attractive than me. I listen to Lovecraftian podcasts. I'm very well-rounded.
He pulled out the guitar, sat in tub, and took requests while she puked her brains out in the toilet. I think he loves her.
Last time I went to flagstaff I threw up in my beard. I would very much like to recreate that moment.
DO IT!
Randomize
