he had a sign stolen from the tennis court hanging above his bed that said, "please limit play to one hour while others are waiting"
your boyfriend is drunk and yelling to the bar that he loves his cats
Note to self: do not take so many shots that you sit on the floor under the bar where nobody can see you, and reach out and grab peoples crotch.
Theres a picture of me with cut up clothes rolling in the policeman's lawn, I missed you, summer.
I was about to send you a concerned-for-your-safety text b/c it took you more than ten seconds to respond to a text that mentioned both the bar and lesbians
Im going to make a sandwich and see if my books came from amazon. I cant believe two years ago i was dating eight guys and teaching russian exchange students how to do shots.
I'm sure me singing - rather loudly - "fuck me in the back seat" last night didn't help either.
Ive been high since the plane left the ground in Los Angeles and Ive been in Chicago. Right now, Im on a train headed towards downtown to go to an anime convention. At this point, I am just taking life as it comes, furries and all.
He stumbled out of the bathroom with his pants around his ankles yelling "tie my shooes!"
I will gladly accept you into my home with open legs.
I knew it was all downhill from there when the straight vodka I was drinking tasted like water.
never let me tell the bartender to cut me off, i basically told on myself
I called plan parenthood at 407 am... Guess I was thinking ahead
For some reason, my alarm clock was unplugged & in the kitchen microwave. I don't remember doing that...
I just broke into my house with a butter knife. It kinda scares me just how easy that was.
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