That's the last time we joust in Radio Flyer wagons after margarita night.
Very hungover, bought a newspaper and found my shorts from last night in the machine.
did you seriously make the punch out of vodka and food coloring
I don't think he realizes it but he was stroking the faucet while he was talking to me.
he thinks the dog can do a keg stand. i will let you know how it turns out
She called to say she's single and blow job season is back.
also, add "teaching boys to sext" to my charity work
I just told him that with every paper, I'd take a picture of myself with one less piece of clothing. Who say's I can't be a tutor?
I'm just gonna stay I'm bed where it is warm and cozy and nobody knows me as the girl that puked on a stripper
Spider-Man is making out with Wonder Woman while Captain Kirk feels up Princess Lea. Nice to see nerd barriers broken down at Comic Con.
I knew I'd like her from the moment she supported me messing around with my co-worker on my lunch break
Not a problem, sailor. I speak both autocorrect and typo.
CODE RED CODE RED MY VIBRATOR IS BROKEN THIS IS NOT A DRILL
Actually, lets be honest. I will probably keep calling him the pastor because it brings me joy using pastor and fuck buddy in the same sentence.
the cuervo was good, but I started with jello shots. and when i threw up a whole jello shot came out.
Randomize
