if you don't open the door right now liz is going to get pregnant
and he says: but we did find out that your ovaries have never released eggs. first thing out of my mouth: so i didnt really need to take the morning after pill so many times in college?
not the response he usually gets im sure.
How many vodka infused gummi bears count as 1 drink?
The sign say "Kereoke" strip bar. 5 more beers and ill be ready to rumble.
Just replaced the batteries in my vibrator without turning on the lights. I need to get laid.
I have a new favorite bar game. It's called, get dressed up and go drinking alone then make up random stories of why you are alone to look less like an alc
Dude, you like sabotaged my shower time by walking in and eating a snack pack on the toilet. That's messed up on levels that haven't even been created.
I just held a marble with my kegel muscles for 5 min. You may call me COCKCLAMP 9000!!!!
His ass WILL be my cock's next vacation home.
I wish I had a dick so I could say shit like that.
There is this threesome scene that is literally 10 minutes of straight fucking
Omg so it's educational?
So I definitely tried to pay a cab with baseball tickets last night
His name was toto. That should have been my red flag
If you don't sing 'dust in the wind' at my funeral, I'll haunt you forever
I'll pick u up. I have to buy a new sofa cover anyway. I swear I've never seem a girl cum like that before.
also. when i get a car, the amount of space there is for sex WILL be a huge deciding factor.
Randomize
