I just realized that when I walk away people probably say "wow she really has a drinking problem" and sadly it doesn't bother me.
Well we were just driving down the street, there was a realtor and a couple walking up the porch of a house for sale, mark sticks his head out, opens his mouth to say something, pukes all down the side of the car, pauses, and yells "THIS IS A PHENOMAL NEIGHBORHOOD YOURE GONNA LOVE IT"
I'm not sure if doing him was such a good idea. Yes the sex was good, but I'm scared I set myself up for failure in 2011 because he's the hottest guy. Ever.
I bought a police grade breathalyzer on ebay at 4:37 am. At least I'm a responsible drunk.
by 11 am we'd already been drunk twice. how much lower can you go?
I don't care if he was in that porno. He looked like he knew what he was doing.
I just bought emergency deodorant at Dominick's and put it on in front of a homeless man while waiting for the bus. He laughed and said 'girl, you a mess'. This is my life.
It was a "my chaser needed a chaser" kind of night
His mom finally got over her shame and smoked a bowl with us. Merry Christmas to all aka me.
Do you remember making out with the dude in the back of my cab last night?? You said his mustache tickled your tongue.
She gave you a handy in the bar and you were surprised she was good with a dick?
Hahah good point
So, no matter what happens today, hold on to this. At least you're not naked under your ex husband's trench coat being stopped by the police who also work with your ex husband. Long story. Actually, not a long story. That's it.
Did my dad just see you doing a walk of shame?
Yup I waved.
You smell like a steam boat captain.
Whatever your on right now, I want.
I wiped my ass with a McDonalds wrapper. I've hit an all time low. Sorry for my impatience
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