Do you think "I had sex with my co-worker last night I don't think I can come in today" is a good excuse?
it's taking a lot of effort to be mature and not reply to her with like a video of bestiality porn
You hit on the cop telling him you were celebrating the anniversary of your 21st birthday and ur boob job... That's how he got ur #
ah tequila...
something isn't right. i offered to be his sex slave and he declined..
You dont realize corn stalks will cut until you run from the cops through a corn field.
We're gonna go drive around campus and throw water balloons at all the drunk bitches wobbling around, wanna come?
Sweet. I'm actually coaching my work study into a 4-girl orgy so dinner was kinda important. Yes, I'm the best boss ever.
I figure that my generation of my family needs an alcoholic. I'll take that burden.
i dont know whats weirder. that i told him he stabbed me in my dream or that he told me i wasnt the first girl to tell him theyve been killed by him in a dream
At some point, it turned less into sparring and more into tough guy dry humping.
I'm like an air traffic controller of women. It's a very similar job. Well spaced and gentle landings are good. When they meet, it's bad. Explosions bad. Dying screaming burning children bad.
If I ever go to jail it will be because of you, I can feel it.
On the way home she told me she was in kindergarten when 9/11 happened
Shit. My boss is having me meet and greet with the new doc upstairs. Do you think his doctor powers will detect that I'm still high?
i woke up to drewlling on a plate of eggrolls half naked halfway between my bed and the floor, and i have no idea where my pants went
Randomize
