I just got a ticket for shitting on a sand dune.
I may be a little high but I'm pretty sure my alphabet soup has only Os in it
We call that spaghetti Os
i wonder if she gts uncomfortable walkin bu when she knows we all know what her pussy tastes like
and do you remember when you were dressing me if i had money in my bra?
This is to remind you the pizza is in the dishwasher birthday boy eat it before it goes on
he ran through my sliding door
in his defense that door gets complicated after 10 beers
his version of basketball was throwing hot sauce packets down my cleavage at taco bell at 2 am with his buddy.the cashier kept score
He's under the table sobbing because he doesn't live in a taco if you ever get him this high again I will stab you
Not many people can say they've been photo bombed by an antelope. I sure did.
Would it be irresponsible to use my tax refund for a boob job?
Yes. Highly encouraged though.
He poured champagne on my pussy while he ate me out. I found my unicorn.
I know I joke about running from my problems a lot but I'm 3 miles off-campus and need a ride
He woke me up at 6:30 to have sex again and afterwards, he didn't even judge me when I asked him if he wanted some rum. I think I found my soulmate.
I had to ask her to let go of my cock this morning so I could go home. She just kept saying "no, please, no..."
Come to my place after work and we can discuss our finances over a coors delight and a fire ball shot
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